New Leaf
by RbtlSR
Summary: Sequel to Buried Bruises. Reid is doing better. Now might be time for Morgan and Reid to reexamine their relationship and discover new feelings for each other. Slash. Trigger warning: References to depression, self harm/cutting, and past sexual abuse.
1. Blossoming

**A/N: This is a sequel to my previous story Buried Bruises. I just couldn't resist continuing. Sorry it took me so long to type this up. I've had it written for a while, but it's finals week and stuff. Blegh! Thanks for your patience.**

**You don't have to have read the previous story to understand this one, but I would recommend it.**

**Oh yeah, I should mention this is pre-slash, there will be slash, and there are possibly some mild self-injury/cutting triggers. **

**The rating will change as later chapters become more smutt-licious (yes, that is now a word).  
><strong>

**And I don't own any of the characters obviously.**

**I hope you enjoy it!**

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><p><em>Three months later:<em>

Reid still had good days and bad days. The bad days, however, were becoming less and less frequent. He hadn't self-injured in 11 days! He went days at a time without the urge. Life was enjoyable sometimes- something Reid never though he'd experience again.

Morgan had, those three long months ago, much to Reid's displeasure, only agreed not to tell the team on the condition that Reid visit a psychiatrist. Initially Reid had laughed at this notion. Surely he was better at psychiatry than anyone in private practice in the Virginia. Still, Morgan had insisted and Reid had acquiesced. He owed Morgan that much.

Even though Reid could have manipulated the hell out of the dowdy middle-aged woman that he chose he decided to play along. How could he, in clear conscience, recommend treatment for unsubs, hell, even his own mother, but then refuse it for himself?

The psychiatrist spoke to him several times (just enough for him to mentally diagnose her with trichotillomania and OCD with slight narcissistic leanings) before directing him to a therapist and prescribing him fluoxetine, an SSRI antidepressant, which he took obediently.

A month later he found himself amazed. Even though he understood the process of inhibiting the reuptake of serotonin in the synaptic cleft, allowing it to bind more to receptors, he was still amazed at how well it worked. He knew there was a valid scientific explanation, but it still shocked him in how it changed his world view. It was not a complete fix, but it made him feel whole; it killed the never-ending despair that had previously filled a metaphorical cavity in his chest. Granted, he still had urges, but he could talk through them or wait it out and eventually they would subside.

His life, in a short three months, had gone from being bleak with rare moments of dim happiness to positive with occasional dark moments... and he had Derek Morgan to thank. Derek Morgan, his sturdy rock of a friend, who had discovered his deepest secret, and instead of fleeing in terror had stood by his side. Derek Morgan, who had confiscated all of his sharps and later held him while he sobbed. Derek Morgan that had joked and laughed with him. Derek Morgan, who was a beautiful person inside and out. Beautiful. Straight.

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><p>Morgan had been spending more time with Reid. If you asked him why he would have told you that it was because he wanted to make sure that Reid was doing OK. That was only part of it though. He actually enjoyed the younger man's company. Reid had really blossomed lately. He wasn't always happy, but Morgan was OK with that. It was not a losing battle. He could see progress with Reid every day. Reid was comfortable with him now- not that he wasn't before, but the experiences that they had shared meant that Reid was much more willing to open up. Morgan was also willing to share things with Reid to keep things balanced. Besides, the kid was a good listener. He had actually comforted Morgan on more than one occasion.<p>

It wasn't all serious though. Sometimes they would watch movies, tease each other, play games, talk about women or sex... Well, they only talked about sex once. That was awkward. Morgan tried not to think about the feelings that that conversation had given him. Besides, both he and Reid were straight after all. Right?

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><p><strong>AN: Sorry this one was so short! I'll try to get the next chapter up a lot sooner. Maybe even this weekend :D**

**It will be super cute too, I promise. Moving away from the serious stuff (partially). **

**Please tell me what you thought!**

**Oh, and please do let me know if there are any glaring spelling/grammatical errors (this goes for any of my stories) because they annoy the crap out of me.  
><strong>


	2. Awakening

**A/N: Yeah, I know, I promised you cute. This is what you get! Sorry!  
>I sat down to write but for some reason I'm having a hard time pushing through to continue this story.<strong>

**I do have an awesome slash chapter written out for later in the story development though.  
>I really will try to update faster this time, I swear!<strong>

**A big thanks to my friend missmuffinpants (look her up!) for being awesome in general, and for fangirling over fic with me and pushing me to write more. I don't know what I'd do without her. Also, thanks for making anatomy a lot more fun. You guys have no idea how much fun it is to have a MoReid shipper in your anatomy class. EVERYTHING becomes more interesting!**

**Oh, yeah, standard disclaimers: I own none of these people. Also, there's gay awesomeness.**

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><p>Upon finding out that Reid had never even heard of <em>Fight Club<em> Morgan had decided that it was time for him to get some pop-culture education, starting with film And thus, Saturday night became movie night. At 8pm Reid would go to Morgan's apartment for popcorn and a movie of Morgan's choice. He pretended to to hate the films that Morgan chose, but to be honest he had a lot of fun. Hanging out with Morgan was fun.

It was the fourth of their movie nights and the film of the night was _Killer Klowns From Outer Space_. It was half an hour in and Reid was not amused.  
>"This movie is so awful!" he whined<p>

"That's the point, boy genius. Stop analyzing it and just enjoy it."

"Shut up and hand over the popcorn" Reid demanded, reaching over.

"Ah-ah-ah, you might regret popcorn soon."

Reid rolled his eyes "Shut up and gimme the popcorn!"

Morgan stretched his arm out, holding the popcorn as far away from Reid as possible.

"Heeeeeeey" Reid playfully whined, trying to reach it without moving.

"Nope!" teased Morgan back "You've eaten more than half already anyway!"  
>Reid tried to look menacing and Morgan just chuckled.<p>

Deciding that he'd had enough Reid started to scramble over his friend to procure the salty snack.

Morgan was too fast for him, however. Before he realized what had happened Morgan had grabbed his wrists. Reid's heart leapt... the last time this had happened it had not been good... but a quick glance at Morgan's mischievous grin let him know that they were messing around.

Reid quickly stuck his tongue out at his captor in a childish and playful gesture, and then rolled on top of Morgan in a dominating gesture (though his arms were still at Morgan's mercy).

Morgan chuckled ominously. A look of questioning and then realization flitted across the younger man's face as he realized what was about to happen.  
>Morgan rolled forward off the couch, landing with Reid under him.<p>

Neither of them were paying any attention to the movie anymore. They were giggling like kids that had just had a pillow fight. But then the laughter stopped.

Both of them were breathing a bit heavily from their skirmish. Their eyes locked, their chests rising up and down.

It was then that Morgan realized that he was on top of Reid. Spencer Reid. Holding his wrists above his head. Straddling him.

And the realization had dawned upon Reid a few seconds earlier that Derek Morgan was on top of him. He could feel the warmth of Morgan's strong body and his weight on top of him. He wondered what it would feel like to be naked under Derek like this. What would Morgan do if Reid suddenly thrust his hips up? He pushed away the feeling of excitement that jumped inside of him.

At least, he tried to. Unfortunately his body wasn't listening to him. For some reason his body was _reacting _to Morgan. His face blushed red as he realized what was happening in his pants.

Morgan too was experiencing his own embarrassment. Something about the sight of Reid's face and the fact that he was straddling him set something in him on fire. Before he could stop it he began to get hard. He had to resist the urge to start grinding his hips against the younger genius beneath him.

He couldn't take this any longer without his will breaking.

And then, Morgan rolled off Reid. He got back up and sat down on the couch and handed Reid the bowl of popcorn. "Alright, you win" Morgan stated, trying to keep any emotion out of his voice, before focusing all his attention back on the movie (or at least pretending to).

Reid was confused. Had Morgan realized what he'd been thinking? Had he ruined everything with his awkwardness? Trying to hide the despair he felt swirling around in his chest he got back up and sat down on the couch as far away from Morgan as possible.

He didn't want popcorn anymore.

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><p><strong>AN: I really will try to update faster!  
>I already have an idea for how this will continue.<br>Oh yeah, and _Killer Klowns from Outer Space_ really is a real movie. I highly recommend it, it's equal parts cheesy and hilarious. ****And if you watch it you'll see why Morgan didn't want Reid to have popcorn :D**

**Thanks for reading, you guys :D**


	3. Opportunity

The second the word "Minnesota" left Hotch's mouth Reid shuddered. He hated cold weather, dreary days, and the wetness of the snow, and because it was early February he was guaranteed all of those things.

The case was not particularly gruesome, at least not as BAU cases go anyway. Homeless men were turning up dead at seemingly random intervals. The only connection was that they were found in parking garages.

This was not much of a comfort to Reid, however. He hadn't been sleeping well for the last few days, ever since his movie night.

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><p>As he lay in bed trying to fall asleep, the soft night light casting a glow across the room, his thoughts would always return to Derek Morgan. Between the covers in nothing but his boxers he played the moments over and over in his head: Derek calling him "Pretty Boy," Derek clasping a hand on his shoulder, … Derek on top of him, grinning. As he thought about Derek on top of him, his large warm body so close to his own, Reid would feel his cock twitch. He couldn't stop himself from imagining what Derek looked like when he came. What did his cock look like? How was he in bed? Did he like it rough? What would it feel like to have Derek thrusting inside of him? Slowly but surely Reid would grow erect, all the unwanted but sexy thoughts racing through his head. The urge to slip his hand down his waistband was almost irresistible.<p>

But a huge sense of guilt came with these feelings. Derek was most certainly not interested in him. Derek had done everything for Reid. Their friendship was purely platonic, yet here he was betraying that trust by thinking about his friend in the most intimate of ways. He felt disgusted with himself, as if he were violating his best friend.  
>The thoughts were persistent however. This was how Reid stayed awake past the point of exhaustion into the wee hours of the morning: battling the urge to pleasure himself to Derek.<p>

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><p>They arrived long after the sun had set in the snow-covered State. The chilly air bit into their faces and the snow on the ground soaked into their shoes as they walked off the plane. It was 10pm, well past the hour that anything productive could be accomplished, so it was decided that they would spend a night in a hotel and get settled before they had to face the grim case in the morning.<br>The local precinct advised them that there was only one small hotel in the entire town, so choosing where to stay wasn't difficult.  
>Directions were sent to them and they soon arrived.<p>

Their hearts sank as they drove up to the building. A neon sign blinked in the window, illuminating the barren exterior.

Scraggly bushes surrounded the building. The bricks that it was made up of had cracked decades ago, and the paint had become nothing more than specks. Overall the hotel gave the appearance of being poorly maintained and grungy, with a possibility of bed bugs.

"Well it's not the Hilton, but it'll do" Rossi tried to cheer everyone up.  
>No one was amused.<p>

They were exhausted, however, and so they quickly filed into the run-down building.  
>The woman at the check-in counter informed in a very bored them that there were only three vacancies. She looked at them as if she were doing them a favor, allowing them to rent three rooms.<p>

They were too tired to be terribly annoyed, and everyone quickly paired off: Hotch and Rossi, JJ and Prentiss, and, of course, Morgan and Reid.  
>Reid felt his heart jump in anticipation.<p>

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><p>He wasn't feeling nervous at all. That's what Morgan kept telling himself as he walked down the hall to their room. No reason to be nervous. Just sharing a hotel room. Nothing new.<p>

At least, until he walked into the room. It was not the kind of room meant for two heterosexual males to share. A full sized bed sat in the center of the room with a small desk with drawers pressed against one side and a wall on the other. A small bathroom was tucked away near the door.

Worst of all, they were along an exterior wall. There was no thermostat in sight, but the room was frigid. They could hear the wind howling outside, and every time a strong gust came it rattled their window and they could feel the cold draft.

Morgan and Reid exchanged awkward glances.

"Um... so are we sharing the bed then?" Reid finally managed to ask.

"Unless you feel like sleeping outside!" Morgan replied back with more confidence than he felt.

Both of them were already shivering.

An awkward silence came between them. The hotel was far too cheap to have a TV, and it was late anyway. The only option that they really had was to go to bed.

Morgan grabbed his go-bag and slipped into the bathroom. He sighed in relief at just having a moment of privacy, though he knew he'd have to go back out in a minute. He splashed cold water on his face in an attempt to calm himself, but his thoughts were racing, and all of them were about Spencer and none of them were clean. Before he could develop a large and embarrassing erection he quickly pulled on his pajama pants and tight V-neck and stepped out of the bathroom.  
>As emerged he saw Spencer pulling his shirt down. He found himself disappointed for a second that he had not actually walked in on Spencer naked, but quickly berated himself for that thought.<p>

Still, he found himself eying the younger man up and down. He was in a long-sleeved shirt of course (he was still self-conscious about the scars, even though Derek had seen them several times before) and a soft-looking pair of pajama pants. Morgan wondered what the fabric would feel like under his hands.

Reid averted his eyes and Morgan realized that he had been staring. He felt warmth flood his cheeks. Had Reid noticed?

Reid awkwardly fumbled with the corner of the blanket before sliding in under the covers, still trying to avoid eye contact. He curled his body half-way into the fetal position, back to Morgan, and willed his brain to turn off. He was being inappropriate. He had no right to want Morgan in this way. Morgan would probably be disgusted if he ever knew. Revolted. Because who would ever want him? He was awkward both physically and socially. He never said the right thing, he wasn't charming or cute or funny, and he was most certainly one X chromosome short of being Morgan's type.

Really, could he blame Morgan though? All he had ever been was a pathetic failure. Morgan had pitied him and all he had done was get even more emotionally needy and vulnerable. It was pathetic. He should stop wasting Morgan's time.

Morgan had turned off the light (leaving a night light on of course, darkness being the inherent absence of light and whatnot) and crawled into bed as well. His back was to Reid's, but he could still feel the warmth and comfort of having another body next to him. It was all he could do not to wrap his arms around Reid. The urge felt so natural, as if it would be all that he ever needed.

He reprimanded himself. This was Reid, dammit. Spencer. A valuable person and trusted friend. He closed his eyes and tried to will the thoughts away. He was supposed to be a professional, for fuck's sake. As his mind drifted through the fog between reality and sleep he was brought back by the faintest noise coming from the other side of the bed. A sound that he had heard too many times. Reid was crying.

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><p><strong>AN: So this is a pretty shitty place to end a chapter. I'm aware. I suck.**  
><strong>But I've had most of this written for a while and I just wanted to post something. I know it'll be a while before I have a chance to write again. AP Calc quiz in two days, French test, books to read... blegh. I wish real life would stop getting in the way of fanfiction. <strong>

**I will probably also come back at some point and change some sentences and words around to make it flow better.  
><strong>

**Anyway, I promise this won't be as sad as it seems right now, and it should get cute and/or fluffy and/or smutty in the near future.**

**Thanks to missmuffinpants for ideas and help and general awesomeness :D**


	4. Doubt

**A/N: Sorry this update took a while. I have a Supernatural Destiel fic up now though! If you ship it check it out.**

**This is what I did on my four-day weekend instead of my calculus or English homework. It was well worth it.**

**This chapter is mostly sad with a morsel of pseudo-smut.  
>Warning: Possible sexual abuse trigger<strong>

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><p>The room was cold. The drafts seemed to be never-ending, sending a chill down the younger man's spine. He pulled the blanket up around himself, trying to protect himself from the frigid air. Trying to shut it out. He couldn't shut out his own mind though.<p>

He hated himself at that moment. His whole mind was consumed with self-doubt and loathing in the way that only happens at night.

All he could think about was how pathetic he was. He was sharing a bed with Morgan. Morgan trusted him and considered him a friend. He had betrayed that trust. He had fallen in love with his best friend, Derek Morgan, the womanizer, the man who could get any girl he wanted, would never want him like that. And why would he? He was pale and thin and lanky and awkward and pathetic and needy... he wasn't worthy of Derek. Over and over again the most cruel thoughts danced around in his mind, taunting him.

Tears started to stream down his face as his head bullied him incessantly.

He tried not to listen to the thoughts. He tried not to believe them. They were right though. Derek could never love him. He was pathetic and worthless, his thoughts reminded him.

He was sharing a bed with someone, but at that moment he was so completely alone in his head, tormenting himself. No person would ever talk to him in this way. If they did they'd probably get punched. He'd hate them, not believe them.  
>But somehow, when it's your own thoughts, you let them say anything, and with time you believe it.<p>

He tried to stifle his sobs as he curled up into the fetal position.

A million thoughts raced through Morgan's head as he was pulled out of his groggy state to the sound of Reid's sobs. His heart dropped into the pit of his stomach. What happened? Was Reid OK? What had he done?

"Reid... Spencer...? You OK?" he asked in a barely audible voice.

A small nod came from the shaking form of the young genius.

Internally, he was cursing himself. He hadn't meant to wake Morgan up. Now Morgan was going to waste time worrying about him. "Yeah, just go back to sleep," he mumbled.

By this point Morgan was completely awake and alert, and worried. "C'mon man, talk to me about it man," he urged. No matter what the kid was feeling he didn't want him to feel it alone. He was resisting an urge to reach out and hug Reid as he had many times before. He wanted to hold him and let him feel safe, no matter what internal demons he was fighting.

Reid just shook his head and curled up tighter, willing Morgan to just go back to sleep and leave him to his self-deprecating misery.

Morgan wasn't easily dissuaded, however. "Is it the cutting thing?" he asked, voice heavy with sincere concern.

Reid felt his heart hitch in his chest. He didn't want, need, or deserve Morgan's concern. He flipped around to face Morgan. With steel in his voice he hissed "No. It's not fucking important. I'm fine, I'm not going to kill myself. Congratulations, you've done your altruistic babysitting for the day, now leave me the fuck alone and go back to sleep."

As Reid flipped himself back over, facing away from Morgan, he shut his eyes and tried to stop the tears. He wrapped his arms around his legs as he pulled them up to his chest, just wanting comfort. Yeah, he had been a dick to his friend, who was just trying to help, but it was for his own damn good. It would only be worse if he knew. At least if Morgan was mad at him he wouldn't be wasting his time concerned about him anymore.

Morgan didn't understand what was going on with Reid. His heart fell in his chest. As hurt as he was by the angry outburst, mostly he wished Spencer trusted him enough to tell him. Whatever it was he'd be there for him. He didn't seem to realize that Morgan cared about anything that was hurting his friend.

Confused and unsure as to how else to provide comfort to his obviously hurting friend, he reached out and put a hand on the man's thin and trembling shoulder. He held his breath, hoping he wouldn't be yelled at again.

Instantly Reid relaxed into the comforting touch.

He took it as a positive sign.

With a confidence that he did not feel, he scooted his body against the smaller form and wrapped his arm around him protectively.

"Spencer, I'm not going to 'leave you the fuck alone,' because you're my friend. Whatever it is, I'm not letting you be alone through it, OK? I care if you're hurting in_ any_ way."

Spencer's mind was racing. The larger man had his arms wrapped around him. He felt safe. His hurtful thoughts had gone away and he felt calm. He really shouldn't be letting Morgan hold him like this. It was taking advantage of him and using him.

But it felt so nice to not feel completely alone for a moment. He relaxed back into the hug and allowed himself to feel safe in Morgan's strong arms, relishing the human touch. It felt like home. A warm, comforting, caring home.

Exhausted from his crying, he allowed his eyes to close and sleep slowly overtook him. He felt more at peace than he had in a long time.

Morgan was still awake. He had what he wanted. The young genius had relaxed in his embrace and had soon drifted off to sleep, looking completely calm and content. It felt so right to have him in his arms. This would probably never happen again, but it felt perfect. He wanted to hold him forever.

He closed his eyes and laid his head down, inhaling the scent of Reid's shampoo. He pulled the genius in a little closer, needing the human touch. He never wanted this moment to end.

_Reid was underneath him, on his hands and knees, ass up. He could feel the warmth rolling off his smooth skin. He was so warm. Then his cock was inside of him, and he was pumping in and out of the smaller man's hole. His hands moved all over, scratching at the beautifully pale and flawless back, winding their way through the soft curls that Reid had been letting grow back out, running their way across his chest and finding their way to his nipples, already poking out in arousal... Finally they moved down to grasp the genius' large warm cock and pump. As he neared climax he gripped the man's bony hips tightly, slamming into him over and over again in passion that was sure to leave bruises. Mewls of pleasure and desire came from the man he was taking, as he too neared orgasm, his ass clenching over and over._

_Morgan was so close. He needed this. He had his genius, his pretty boy. Harder and harder he slammed into him, desperately seeking more contact with the man beneath him. He was so close to spilling his load._

Morgan awoke with a start.

That dream... Taking a deep breath he looked around, quickly assessing the situation.  
>His breathing was heavy.<br>His cock was straining painfully in his boxers.  
>Reid was in his arms, still asleep.<br>He had been _humping_ the kid.

Fuck! He practically flew off the bed in panic.  
>Jumping up, he ran to the bathroom before slamming the door closed and locking it.<br>His thoughts were racing. He had been_ humping_ the kid.  
>As his heart rate slowed he dropped his body weight against the door and slid down, allowing his head to fall into his hands in frustration.<br>What had he done?

He didn't even need to answer that question. He knew damn well what he had done. He had taken advantage of Spencer. He had used an innocent and vulnerable young friend for his sexual pleasure. Reid hadn't consented. He hadn't wanted it. Derek had just done what felt good, betraying Reid's trust in him.

He felt sick to his stomach.

What made him different than the man that had abused him? _Nothing.  
>And so the abused becomes the abuser and the cycle continues<em> chimed the voice in his head.  
>The loathing that he had, at that moment, for himself was beyond comprehension.<br>He shut his eyes tightly and pressed his palms into his forehead.  
>He didn't know what to do. He couldn't get close to Reid again. He couldn't trust himself.<p>

Several tears rolled down his cheeks.

All the horrible memories from his youth came flooding back. He tried to think of something else. Anything else. But he couldn't.  
>He was a helpless teenager again. He couldn't stop it. It hurt, and he couldn't make it stop.<br>But he was the abuser. He was doing this.

FUCK! He punched the adjacent wall with all his strength in an attempt escape the guilt.  
>Still hating himself, but now in pain as well, he slumped back down against the door.<br>He pulled his knees up to his chest and hugged them. He let the thoughts assault him, remind him of his guilt... torture him... He deserved it anyway.

He was shocked out of his thoughts by a nervous knock on the bathroom door. "Morgan?"

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><p><strong>AN: I _swear _the next chapter will have some fluffy gay confessions of love! I intended for it to be in this chapter, and I didn't mean for it to be this sad, but this is what happened when I sat down to write. **


	5. Mirrored

**A/N: Perhaps my plots would progress faster if I didn't always feel the need to give you both POVs. This chapter starts about 10 minutes before the last chapter ended. Sorry about that.**

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><p>"I know, put my earmuffs on the cookie" mumbled a deep voice that pulled Reid's mind into consciousness.<p>

Groggily content, Spencer had opened his eyes. His body was relaxed; the warm embrace that had lulled him off to sleep was still engulfing him. It was dark when he opened his eyes, only the illumination from the small night light flickered across the room.

_Someone should tell Morgan that he talks in his sleep, _he thought before closing his eyes again.

He moved a little closer to the comforting body behind him. Derek was still asleep and it felt right. He could just drift back to sleep and wake up in the morning. Maybe everything would be normal then. Maybe Derek would still be holding him.

As he slid back into Morgan's arms he thought he heard something. He didn't hear it of course, it wasn't possible, but he could have sworn that he heard a moan.

Squeezing his eyes shut, he tried to push that idea away.

His imagination was not listening to him, however, and now that he thought about it, it felt like the other agent's groin was warm. Very warm.

Many men get erections in their sleep, he reminded himself. It had nothing to do with him.

And then the body behind him was moving. It wasn't just moving, it was grinding. Grinding into him, into his ass.

Biting his lip between his teeth to keep himself from squeaking, Spencer closed his eyes. It felt nice. For a moment he even imagined that it was for him, not for whatever _bimbo_ the older agent was dreaming about. His cock grew in his briefs until it was completely hard, straining and begging for release. It was all he could do to not turn around and grind back against Derek. His mind went to a plethora of dirty places. In the end it settled on a fantasy in which Derek woke up and they continued to grind against each other, full of passion, until frustrated, they ripped each other's clothes off and proceeded to engage in a variety of obscene acts.

The grinding got more persistent and needy. Reid couldn't help but wonder if Morgan would actually come in his pants. He almost hoped so.

And then he heard it. It was almost inaudible at first, the words slipping breathlessly out of the sleeping agent's mouth, but it got louder until it was unmistakeable. "Fuck, Spencer. God. So tight. So good. Need you. I'm so close."

Reid had to stifle a moan.

Then, "love you."

He wasn't even sure that he heard that last part. It sounded real, but it had to be too good to be true. It couldn't be true. Still, his foolish heart had already jumped with joy. Derek really did love him. What if he could finally have the man that he had known he was in love with for months, but had actually been in love with for years?

His thoughts were interrupted by Derek's body going rigid, almost shaking with tension. _Had he reached his climax?_

But then the warmth beside him was gone was gone. Morgan had thrown himself off of the very confused Reid, and in seconds had run into the bathroom and shut the door. The room was suddenly very cold and empty.

_Maybe he just needed to finish..._ Reid reasoned with himself, trying to ignore the nagging feeling that something was wrong.

When, a few minutes later, he heard what sounded like a wall being punched and continued sobbing he realized that something was definitely wrong.

Before he could talk himself out of it he was up, walking to the bathroom door. He knocked softly, and with apprehension in his voice asked, "Morgan...?"

No response.  
>He jiggled the door handle, only to discover that it was locked.<p>

"Go away" came the resolute voice from the other side of the door, trying not to betray the tears that had been falling moments before.

Spencer inwardly chuckled as he slid down to the floor, back against the door, so that really they were sitting with backs against each other, with only a door in between. How many times had he locked himself in a bathroom and told Morgan to "go away?" And when, if ever, had Morgan actually listened? For that Reid was grateful, and he wasn't about to walk away from his friend.

"You never left me Derek, and I'm not going to just walk away here. Talk to me." And then, barely audible, he added a whispered "please."

A full twenty seconds later came a voice from the other side of the door, heavy with anguish. "You don't know what I did. You wouldn't be here if you knew what I did. What I did to_ you._"

A realization dawned on Reid. He hadn't forgotten about Morgan's history (how could he forget that?) but it was only now that he connected it to the night's events. It made sense now.

He took in a long and deep breath, steadying himself, knowing that once he said what he was going to say, what needed to be said, that there was no going back.

"I do know, Derek. I was awake."

Silence came from the other side of the door. The genius' hands were erratically dancing around each other, as they often did when he was nervous, and his eyes were staring at a far-away spot on the floor as he nervously awaited a reaction, any reaction.

Then a crash that sounded like a crappy hotel mirror had just lost to Derek's fist broke the silence.

In seconds that felt like hours Reid sprang to his feet, grabbed a paperclip from his messenger bag that had been carelessly tossed on the floor, straightened it, and picked the incredibly cheap lock.  
>Taking a breath, he pulled the door open, worried as to what he might find.<p>

Morgan was on the floor, broken mirror scattered around him. When he finally managed to meet Reid's gaze, tears in his eyes, he ground out "I'm so sorry you were awake for that. So sorry. Must have been terrifying" and continued to mumble "so sorry" over and over as he looked away.

Stepping carefully around shattered pieces of mirror, Reid moved over to Morgan and slid down next to him, shoulders touching, but looking straight ahead. He figured that eye contact might make things too difficult right now.

"I'm not sorry, Derek. I was awake but I wasn't too scared to say anything. I was happy."

"What?" choked out Morgan, no longer crying, but very confused.

"I'm not a kid that you were abusing. You're not an abuser. You had a dream and couldn't control your reactions. I didn't move or wake you up because... because I'm attracted to you." When Morgan didn't reply he decided to continue, "In your dream, Derek, you said you loved me. And I think I love you. When you asked me what was wrong last night... Well, it hurt that I knew I could never have you. I thought that you could never love me. So you see, you weren't assaulting me. You were making this the happiest night of my life." He internally cringed at the cheesiness, but he meant every word.

Morgan's body visibly relaxed and he wordlessly sunk into Reid's shoulder. Instead of looking rigid and tense he just looked exhausted.

He allowed a comforting arm to be wrapped around him without protest.

After several minutes passed Reid glanced at his watch. "We have another 3 hours until we have to get up..." Morgan groaned at the prospect of moving. "Come on, I think you- I think we both need some more sleep. We can talk tomorrow. Is that alright with you?"

The exhausted agent nodded and allowed the younger man to help him up.

As they made their way over to the bed to collapse in exhaustion the tension in the room was gone and a desire for closeness hung in the air. They had both made themselves vulnerable that night and wanted to be safe.  
>If Strauss had walked in at this moment should would have been appalled. They ended up under several blankets on the crappy hotel mattress, bodies tangled together, clinging to each other for the chaste comfort of the other's proximity and touch.<p>

In the seconds before drifting off to sleep Derek murmured "I love you too." Reid fell asleep with a smile on his face.

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><p><strong>AN: So, bonus points if you caught the line that I stole from Avenue Q.**

**I hope this chapter wasn't too cheesy.**

**Sorry the update took a while (I know I say that every time).**

**No promises about when the next chapter will come out. It will definitely have some cute stuff in it though. **


	6. Reflections

**A/N: Two updates in 48 hours? Thank my teachers for very little homework. This is what I do in my Econ class instead of taking notes.**

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><p>Emily Prentiss was not blind, nor was she stupid. She was a profiler, and she knew love when she saw it. She first saw it between the boys only a few weeks after joining the BAU.<p>

They were on the jet home after a long and emotionally draining case. The tension was palpable, and nobody knew whether to comfort each other or go sit in their metaphorical corner until they got home.

The case has been especially tough on Reid, who had identified with the unsub, and he was staring out the window, sending of cues to leave him alone.

To her shock, Mogan completely ignored the signals Reid's body language was giving and walked over to him. That's when she really saw it for the first time. Morgan wordlessly laid a big hand on the kid's shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze. Reid's head lifted at the contact, and he smiled a sad-but-grateful smile as he met the other man's eyes. Morgan's smile back was identical. The whole encounter had lasted less than ten seconds, but both of them were visibly more relaxed the rest of the way home. Prentiss knew what she had seen in those ten seconds.

She noticed the little things too. Sometimes Morgan would grab a cup of crappy BAU coffee for Reid when he was grabbing his own, and he would dump in mounds of sugar, just the way Reid liked it. And when Reid drank Mogan-coffee a look of bliss would cross his features momentarily, as if it was the best coffee he'd ever tasted.

When Morgan was upset or hurt Prentiss knew that Reid would be there in seconds, launching into a scientific explanation about some obscure idea that no one understood or really cared about. As he spoke, Morgan would never take his eyes off him, listening intently like he understood every word.

She had noticed when she joined the BAU that, other than JJ and Garcia, none of the team members were big on touching. Any kind of physical contact was usually awkward and reserved for only the most heart-wrenching cases. Even during those cases any comforting touch to either Morgan or Reid caused an almost imperceptible flinch. That reaction had worried her until she saw how they touched each other. They probably didn't even notice, but she did.  
>Morgan would sling his arm casually around Reid's shoulder as they walked down the hallway, and Reid would grin so wide that he Prentiss could almost forget the pained look on his face seconds before. Sometimes Morgan would ruffle the kid's hair and he'd look away and blush, but all the tension in the room was gone.<p>

And when Reid would lay a caring hand on Morgan's shoulder instead of pulling away he would unclench his jaw and relax and, Prentiss would swear, even lean into the touch a bit.

The worst part of all of this, though, was that she noticed in her first few weeks. Hotch must have noticed by now, and it was laughable to imagine that Rossi hadn't figured it out. But the boys? They didn't see it.

Something had changed a few months ago. Something big. They had been on a case out in Denver. Morgan had been more tense than usual, and Reid was nervous and self-conscious, obviously avoiding Morgan. On the jet trip on the way out she had seen Morgan drop Reid a note and walk away.  
>The next day was different. Their bond seemed to have strengthened further. Reid looked stressed, but like he had an impossible weight off his shoulders, and Morgan was even more protective of him.<p>

Then they seemed to spend even more time together. Morgan had been stressed at first, but he seemed to relax more into Reid's company, not always springing up to make sure that everything was alright with his "Pretty Boy." They joked and teased each other more and were relaxed in each other's presence. They even had a movie night. Both of them seemed happier than she had ever seen them. And the way that they looked at each other when the other wasn't looking... that was unmistakeable. Maybe they had realized their feelings. _Took 'em long enough_, Prentiss thought to herself with a smirk.

So when they had to share crappy hotels rooms in Minnesota and Morgan and Reid ended up together, Prentiss couldn't help but laugh. She almost felt bad with how nervous Reid looked.

The next day it was clear that something had changed. They were working on the case, but Morgan and Reid were distracted, They couldn't stop nervously sneaking glances at one another, and they seemed to desperately need each other's proximity. Something had definitely happened the night before.

And when Hotch finally called it a day and said that it was time to get some sleep and the boys practically sprinted back to the hotel room she had some idea why.

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><p><strong>AN: Gah, I'm awful. Sorry that this chapter wasn't the smutty goodness that you had hoped for. I just really felt the need to tell more of the story to show that their love isn't just some short-term thing after Morgan "saved" Reid, they've really been in love for a long time. They are so perfect together! **

**The next chapter will have at least some PG-13 stuff, I pinky swear. Maybe even NC-17. **

**Thank you for bearing with me. I love you all!**


	7. Progression

**A/N: I told you I'd update eventually! Sorry it took an insane amount of time. My summer was busy and then school and 17 credit hours started and it's just been hectic. I'm getting into writing again though, so hopefully there will be more soon. Once again, sorry for the ridiculous wait, and thank you for still reading :)**

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><p>"Reid?"<p>

Morgan looked nervous on the jet flight back. When they had woken up in the morning, tangled in sheets after only three hours of sleep, there had not been time for words. The case always came first.

"Yeah?"

The exhaustion was evident in the younger agent's voice, but a hint of hopefulness could also be heard.

"Do you think you might want to come over tonight? You know, watch a movie? And talk? Or just watch a movie? Or just-"

"It's okay, Derek. I'll ride back with you when we land, if that's okay with you?"

"Yeah. Yeah, that sounds good."

And that was how he found himself on the couch in Derek's apartment, nursing a beer and sitting in awkward silence.

Finally, it was he that broached the subject:

"Are we going to talk about last night?" Long fingers nervously picked at the wrapper on his bottle.

"Fuck, Spence, I don't know what I'm supposed to say." The profiler in Reid noticed a change in Derek's body language, shrinking away. That was supposed to be him, not Derek. It was odd to see him so insecure. Words were no good; what would one say, anyway? No, respond to body language with body language.

He scooted closer. Fuck, proximity hadn't been this intimidating the night before.

Derek seemed to relax and tense at the same time, moving closer yet becoming more guarded.

Finally, when he could stand it no more, Reid looked up at Derek, heart pounding in his chest as he decided to just say it.

"Can… would it be okay… if I… kissed you?"

And then Spencer was in Derek's arms, on Derek's chest, and _oh_, meeting his lips. He closed his eyes as Derek's soft lips pressed against his, tender but intense. His hands instinctively reached around the larger man's neck, fingers digging into his back as the kiss became passionate. Just as he began to grind against Morgan he felt the man's mouth leave his. His disappointment only lasted a second, however, as he felt the mouth begin sucking on his jaw and slide down his neck. He could not contain the moans as the sucking and nipping began in earnest, travelling between his collarbone and ear.

Derek could not believe how reactive the man who was now beneath him was. Nipping along his neck had Spencer moaning under his breath and thrusting his hips up into the empty space between them, pink lips parted so seductively that it was almost obscene. He felt the man's long fingers grab his ass and pull him down, closing the space between them, giving him something to thrust into, and _fuck_, it felt good and then those beautiful lips were on his neck, doing what he had done, and he understood how Spencer had lost control because _damn that felt good_. He was rutting harder and harder into Spence's thigh, and the motion was reciprocated until they were a moaning tangle of fully clothed humping bodies.

Then, out of nowhere, from under him,

"I want you to take me."

He had to clench his jaw and pull away to keep from losing it right there.

"What?"

"I. Want. You. To. Fuck. My. Ass." The younger agent looked annoyed at the loss of stimulation.

"God yes. Give me _one minute_."

And he was up, tripping running to his bedroom grabbing the lube and condom.

Oh, bedroom, good idea.

"Um, Spence? Maybe the bed would be more comfortable?"

As soon as he got the words out he realized that the younger agent was right behind him, as he felt arms wrap around him and rub his erection. Fuck.

Turning around he wrapped his arms around the smaller agent and pulled him onto the bed, before kissing him deeply.

"I love you Spencer."

"I love you too, Derek, and I want to do this with you."

With that, Reid rolled off of Derek and, lying on the bed, wriggled his hips.

Strong warm hands snaked their way up his chest under his sweater, tracing his hip bones and the faint lines of muscles as they moved up, before pulling the sweater off with little struggle.

"Fuck, Spencer, you're so beautiful," Morgan whispered, before lightly kissing his lips and working his way down, kissing all over his chest before licking along the line of his hip just above where his boxer briefs peeked out from his pants.

He could hear the agent's breath hitch as he did so, before finally moving on to unbutton his pants and pulling them off, along with his socks.

He could not restrain himself from rubbing the obvious erection through the tight, and amusingly purple, briefs that the younger agent sported, eliciting an unintentional moan or two.

"Come on, why are you still dressed?" Reid wriggled his hips impatiently, as erotic as Derek thought possible, lying out flat and just in his briefs on his back, spread out on the bed. How could he say no to that? His clothes were quickly in a pile beside him, leaving his erection in plain sight. He saw Reid's eyes widen as they took in his body.


End file.
